The (in)famous "25 things" everyone is partaking in on facebook. Only the privileged few who still use xanga can read this. puahaha. I am using this wayy too much....

1. I try to perfect my character. "Perfect me - character." I am drawn towards those who I feel have good character and I am constantly trying to improve my character. Some of the qualities I feel constitute good character are: being honest with yourself and others, managing your time well and efficiently, taking care of your health and body, being able to understand your mistakes and learn from them, having self control, being able to help others unconditionally, and loving those who have justly wronged you. (Not that I am able to do all these things)

2. I have this habit of moving my feet back and forth when I am lying down. I don't shake my legs I just unconsciously move my feet.

3. I can't stand having my nails unpolished. You will rarely ever see my nails uncoated with polish or acrylic. I can't stand the sight of bare, yellow, naked nails, which tells you my nails are really unhealthy.

4. I love learning about philosophical, spiritual, and psychological concepts. I am basically continuously trying to figure out who I am and the reason I do the things I do. I also like to understand why others do the things they do, which is why I like meeting new people. People intrigue me. I wanted to go into psychology or sociology but things just didn't turn out that way.

5. A lot of times I either have a really solemn, serious expression on my face, or I look like I am really happy, but the emotion my face conveys isn't necessarily what I am feeling inside.

6. I wish I was good at public speaking and I could give moving, motivational, eloquent speeches (like Obama), but I get really nervous when I have to speak publicly and I forget what I was going to say and stutter and freeze.

7. I have really bad memory. It's really hard for me to remember scenes/lines in movies because I don't care to remember them at all and I'm not reminded of it. Sometimes I feel like I've never even seen the movie.

8. I used to be deathly afraid of going on rollercoasters because I hated the feeling of your stomach dropping and for the longest time I only rode on the rides that spin and whizzer at six flags, but somehow I overcame that sensation. I think I just needed more body fat.

9. I am a control freak but I've learned to suppress this desire publicly pretty well, so I displace it into personal things like writing or journaling, organizing my assignments, cleaning my room, exercising, and etc. 

10. I have always found it difficult to get close to someone who acknowledges that they want to get close to me. Fear of committment? I'm still trying to figure this out.

11. I think my brain matured exponentially in the last 4 years of college due to my extremely sheltered life style before I entered U of I.

12. I have freaky fingers. They bend really awkwardly. I'll show you if you ask.

13. I love candy. =) I love haribo gummies, sour gummies, tarty candy, nutty chocolate, strawberry twizzlers, ferrero rocher, kit kat, I am a candy fiend!

14. I am obsessed with google calendar. I don't know how I have managed to do the things I need to do before google calendar came into my life.

15. I used to think I was really good at math and science, was logical, wanted to study economics, conservative, and everything related to the left side of my brain, but then as I got older I became more and more liberal, more interested in the humanities and the arts, I am an English major, and I despise anything above algebra.

16. I used to be known as the "ice queen" because of my "icy," robotic, mean, and blunt nature. I think I am still all of these things at times but I've come a long way.

17. I love summer and hot weather. =) I am really upset I have to live in Chicago for another year and I can't wait to move to a place where the sun always shines. I would much rather live in constant 80-90 degree weather than have a 3 month winter with temperatures below 30 degrees.

18. One of the things I regret the most is not being closer to my family. I am slowly redeeming all the years I didn't take the effort to spend quality time with them and really get to know them.

19. I think if I didn't have to live practically and raise a family or if I wasn't so selfish, I would want to devote my life to alleviating the suffering of sexually trafficked victims or North Korean citizens. I guess I am extremely disheartened at the fact of the ever increasing amount of human rights violations going on in the world.

20. Most of the worst things that have ever happened to me were related to alcohol, which is why I have decided to quit drinking.

21. I absolutely love tea. =) I like hot tea, sweet tea, iced tea, and flavored tea. (mcalisters, applebees, nestle peach and raspberry, tazo, and bigelow.)

22. I used to play the piano, violin, and flute, and I wish I played long enough to be decent at any of them.

23. I like playing a lot of useless games like egyptian ratscrew, big 2, speed scrabble, sudoku, board games, corn hole, and "church games," but I am really bad at video games.

24. I wish I was a super fast reader (despite me being an English major), so that I could read all the books I have to read for class, all the books I bought and haven't read yet, and news.

25. I believe I am happy with who I am today because of the grace of God. I didn't know who I was before I understood who he was. I will continue to fight my heart because I have a purpose in life.
Php 1:21

hahahah xanga makes me laugh so much, but in a good way.

i wrote about the stupidest things in here. not to bash on everyone else who did the same thing... today i did this this and this.. and heres a bunch of pictures depicting my great life. man i loved props.

uh footprints? what the heck.

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i hate that feeling when you make a new year's resolution and you're good for more than a couple weeks, a couple months even, and then you slowly start to throw your resolutions away. im learning everything is constantly a battle and i continuously need reminders. we cant burn our hand once and then never burn it again.. everything is a process. my life has been such a long process of figuring things out. it is so weird to me that i have morphed exponentially throughout these last four years of college. when i think ive learned so much i realize i continue to learn even more. this excites me because i think this path will continue but it also scares me. everytime i have overcome and grown i am faced with a battle that is seemingly greater than the one before. i am equipped with the training to endure but the challenge is nonetheless difficult, to say the least. i need to remember where ive come from and who ive been, only then can i appreciate where i am now.